Seeking God.

Seems like lately God has really been testing me to see if I will continue to seek him and keep my faith and trust in him. Everytime I feel like it gets harder and that I will not be able to. I feel like I keep slipping further and further away from him. Started out with sometime stupid and little like friend drama and now to me I feel like I am facing the biggest thing ever, more cancer. By now I have grown to hate this word! It has taken some very precious people out of my life and has made some suffer and fight. What has to hurt the most though is hearing from the person who has always been your hero is that he doesn't want to fight anymore. You may not know how that feels but I do now. He has been my only grandpa and this hurts. I love my papa more than anything. Yet I am handling this well I think. How you may ask? I have decided that this is going to happen and that through this I am going to seek God. No matter the outcome I know I need to quit pulling away and seeking him more and more. I really badly want to be as close to him as possible and I feel like situations like this can bring us closer to him if we let him. Thanks.